Some relationships change and evolve over time. In most cases, this happens without a problem, but things can become co-dependent and unstable for some individuals. What are the signs that you are in an unstable relationship? Let’s read more.
How would you if your relationship is still stable?
Relationships are tough. Whether it’s with your co-workers, extended family, or the people you met online, it’s hard to know when you’re truly in a good place. It’s easy to get comfortable and even easier to forget to check-in and make sure that you’re both still happy. But, how would you know if your relationship is still stable? For starters, you should ask yourself if you are feeling happy, comfortable, and secure in all that you do, including your relationship. If you feel uncertain about any of the relationship aspects, such as finances, children, communication, etc., then the relationship may be at risk of becoming unstable.
When the Relationship Becomes Unstable…
A relationship that starts out rocky can quickly turn into a relationship that ends in tears. The warning signs are there, but they can be invisible and are often ignored. Here are some warning signs that you’re in an unstable relationship that you should never ignore:
- There’s that distance. Disconnection, or distancing, is one of the signs that you are in an unstable relationship. These behaviors are signs that the bond between you has already been severed.
- Mistrust can be one of the most difficult and challenging things to face in a relationship. Not feeling confident that your partner knows what they are doing or who they are with can lead to a lot of conflicts. It is a feeling that no one wants, and it is one that can cause the relationship to fall apart. When you begin dating, you typically assume you’re going to be happy together forever. But as time goes on, you may realize you and your partner have different personalities and goals. If this is the case, you might be experiencing what is known as a “mistrust” relationship. Mistrust relationships are harmful and unhealthy for everyone involved.
- Dishonesty is one of the most destructive and silent signs of an unhealthy relationship. According to research, 70 percent of cheaters are in relationships, and that infidelity is on the increase in all relationship types. It kind of goes without saying that in a committed relationship, honesty is king: you should be upfront and open with your partner about everything, from the big (like money, family, and work) to the little (like your favorite ice cream or that weird tattoo you have). But, does dishonesty really signal an unstable relationship?
- At some point in a relationship, you may start to see your partner exhibiting signs of disrespect. The signs of disrespect can vary, but often, they will involve a lack of respect or a lack of open communication. This lack of respect could be in regards to your individuality, your relationships, or your finances. If you find yourself in a couple that doesn’t talk about money, that allows emotionally charged fights to consume the relationship or even one that blames each for issues, this is a red flag.
- Contempt is a strong sign of instability. You may be in an unhealthy relationship if you constantly feel like you are walking on eggshells. In general, contempt is a sign that you are dating someone who is emotionally abusive or unstable. A good sign of contempt is when your significant other makes you feel uncomfortable or uneasy all the time. Contempt is one of the signs of emotional abuse. An abusive partner will manipulate you, meeting your needs and ignoring yours. Contempt is a strong sign of instability. Abuse is a cycle that starts with the abuser feeling unloved and disrespected and ends with the abuser feeling powerful and in control. Something always goes wrong for the abuser, so they create other problems, leading to more contempt.
- Nearly everyone gets defensive at times. But don’t let defensiveness get in the way of healthy communication. In a relationship, defensiveness is a sign of instability or stress because the true underlying meaning of the statement being defended against likely hasn’t been communicated. Defensiveness breeds misunderstanding and pleasure can be found in healthy communication.
If you find any of these signs in your partner, you might feel like ending this relationship, which almost took years to build. In such cases, before taking any concrete step against each other, it is advised to take the advice from a relationship counsellor (if interested, check out counselling fitzroy). Taking such steps might help you to know each other’s mindset and their intention to be in the relationship.
Relationships take work. Finding the right person to hang out with, be with, and take with you through life can be a struggle. But what happens when your relationship becomes stable or has a lack of trust and lack of communication? Your relationship can seem like it is not going to work anymore, and you might do something about it instead of holding on to it for too long. Or having that feeling like it is the end of the world that you start writing your own obituary or making funeral arrangements, perhaps noticing the signs is for the best. But if you have seen the sign that things can still be fixed, there’s nothing wrong with fighting for it until the very last part of it.